Training Your Mindset: Train Your Faithfulness

Faith versus Faithfulness

Faithfulness is you having the qualities that allows others to have faith in you, while faith is referring to something you have for or in another person, idea, or God. It is about loyalty and trust. You exhibit faithfulness with the congruency of your worldview. You have it when you have the back of your teammate, colleague, family member. You show it by being trustworthy. When you give your word and follow through, you are exhibiting faithfulness.

 It is just as important, and some would argue more important, to be faithful as it is to have faith. Don’t you want your friends, colleagues, partners, family members to be faithful? What would it do to your relationship if anyone of those closest to you proved to be unfaithful? Being unfaithful is at the heart of broken marriages, friendships, and business partnerships. On another note, your faithfulness can also be to an idea. It can be to a moral code or your personal honor code that you adhere to no matter what. This is the idea behind personal integrity and congruency. It is vitally important in determining your success and fulfillment.

You probably have all figured out what lies at the heart of exhibiting faithfulness. Love. Again, think about those traits of love. If those are part of your very being wouldn’t being unfaithful to someone be exhibiting in most cases a lack of love? It is important to consider if ending a relationship where the other person was unfaithful to you is an example of you being unfaithful in return. At one point does one’s lack of faithfulness warrant a severing of your relationship? When is the “last time” you bail a wayward child out of trouble caused by their unfaithfulness? These are not easy questions.

Love, faith, and faithfulness do not mean you are to be a patsy and open to being taken advantage of by unscrupulous or unfaithful colleagues, friends, or relatives. True love, true faith, truth faithfulness allows you to let go of the negative emotions that comes from your faith in someone being destroyed by their repeated unfaithfulness and you insist on certain parameters to be in place when you try to rebuild that broken relationship. That would be the loving thing to do.

People who have a hard time being faithful are very often self-seeking. While we have addressed that in the section on love because love is not self-seeking, I want to readdress it here. There are techniques called Time-Line Therapy TechniquesTM that give you a very powerful tool for changing that aspect of your personality. It is sometimes difficult to do this on your own, which again is why there are therapists, coaches, teachers, mentors, social workers who all in some capacity or another help lead people in making changes in their lives. That being said, let me at least give you the fundamentals of time-line therapy.

Characteristics of Faithfulness:
How Many of These Do You Possess?

Someone who exhibits faithfulness will also demonstrate eight essential traits. 

First, a person who is faithful exhibits the qualities of being both a leader and a follower. They not only know how to lead they know when to follow. The other aspect of following is they follow their principles. 

Second, a person who is faithful is humble. Those traits go hand in hand.

Third, a faithful person is meek. Meek means when you have power over someone you also possess the wisdom the wisdom on when and how to use that power. The imagery is of a military or political leader who can punish with death but chooses not to.

Fourth, a faithful person is longsuffering. We again see the emergence of a love characteristic as longsuffering and slow to anger are virtually the same. If you are longsuffering, then you will have self-restraint when becoming angry. The difference then between being slow to anger and longsuffering is the idea of being in control of the anger so your actions are faithful to the moral code that defines you. Anger has the ability for us to react to a violation of some code we operate under and in so doing we ourselves end up violating that very code. Anger without proper restraint can often lead to unfaithfulness.

Fifth, a person exhibiting faithfulness demonstrates forbearance. If we are faithful, we are “forbearing threatening.” Let me put where this originated from into context. Forbearing threatening appears on the bible in Ephesians chapter 6 verse 9. Paul is laying out the responsibilities faithful servants of Christ have. In verse 9, he is talking to those who have authority over others – the masters of servants. In this context, forbearing threatening means you control your feelings and abstain from threatening because you have a master in heaven who doesn’t think you are any better than your servant. The lesson then is a faithful person will be a great leader because they will understand that honey is sweeter than vinegar. They will understand that you will be far more likely to build faithfulness in those under you or are serving your needs by restraining yourself from trying to motivate with threats. 

Sixth, a faithful person is a good steward. The definition we are interested in is this, the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one's care. It is this idea of stewardship that is part of faithfulness. 

Seventh, a faithful person demonstrates foresight. Foresight is the ability to imagine what might happen in the future. A faithful servant leader analyzes the lessons learned from their experiences and applies those lessons that to what might happen in the future. He or she understands that trials and tribulations build patience and and allows for the accumulation of wisdom. Applying this wisdom to what you can imagine happening in the future is foresight. The wisdom can come from your own experiences or those of others.

Lastly, faithfulness demands selflessness. You are putting the safety and love for others before your own selfish desires and that allows you reject any temptation you may have to betray a trust.

To look deeper at this idea of faithfulness you may want to check out this page on unfaithfulness.

Time-Line Therapy Techniques

First, I need to say that Time-Line Therapy TechniquesTM are a very powerful tool that you can use to remove numerous roadblocks and obstacles to your success and fulfillment. They are therapeutic by nature so if you have any diagnosed mental health issue I strongly urge you to work with your therapist or find a therapist trained in these techniques. Furthermore, the videos I offer can guide you through the process but they are one-way communication and therefore lack the power inherent in two-way communication.

 Time-Line Therapy TechniquesTM allow you to go to the root cause of any limiting decision you made or negative emotion you have held onto. At the core of this lack of faithfulness was a decision upon which you decided your needs, for whatever reason, were more important than those of others. You decided it was all about you. Once that decision is blown out, you can create a new decision and put it into the past and carry it out into the future where you balance the needs of others with your own. You consider the group and the other individuals and know the importance of faithfulness to those people.

 This is a quick and straightforward process with incredible results. One word on this, if you don’t find it impactful it is quite possibly because you have attached some sort of what we call secondary gain to you having your needs met first and foremost. It is possible that fear is a negative emotion strongly attached to that decision – fear of not getting what you need to survive – that is preventing the results desired. If you blow out the fear using the same process that might do the trick. Again, if you are having a hard time doing this on your own or even through my course (Breakthrough Course) it may be a sign that there are some other issues you should deal with and finding someone to help you could be what you need to do.

Let me describe to you this idea of a time-line. For your brain to tell the difference between an event that happened yesterday, a year ago, or ten years ago it must somehow store the memory and code it temporally. It does that by creating an internal time-line. There are emotions, images, smells, feelings (not just emotions but actual bodily sensations), tastes, sounds, decisions, and learnings that can be associated with these memories. The memories are positive, negative, and neutral. You also have future “memories” on your time-line. As you imagine an event in the future you may have emotions et al attached to that as well. Anxiety is really a future emotion. It is an emotion that is attached to an event that has not yet happened. The wonderful thing is our mind was designed to be able to release the negativity of memories. Time-line therapy techniques happen to be one method for doing that.

To release a limiting decision or negative emotion you want to take yourself back to the origin of that emotion. The one event that when you release the anger, fear, guilt etc. all that emotion will release from all subsequent memories. You have broken the chain. It can be a very powerful process. If you have any sort of trauma in your life, finding a psychologist or psychiatrist who has training in TLT would be highly recommended.

How to Use TLT

Once you discover the limiting decisions and or negative emotions that may be holding you back you need to ask yourself when the root cause of that decision or emotion was, the very first event that when you disconnect it will allow you to quickly and easily change all subsequent decisions and change things now or release all the negative emotion between then and now. You will need to determine if that root cause was before, during or after you were born. If before was it passed on genealogically or through someone’s past life. [While there are people who believe in reincarnation, Christians do not believe anyone lived a past life. To Christians I say that I firmly believe that memories can be passed down not only genealogically but somehow spiritually. We do not really understand where or how or even what memories are. We do know people can have false memories imbedded. We know that you can convince yourself something happened and is true even though it isn’t. We know cells have memory or else scars would not occur. If someone has a memory from a past life the memory is real to them and they may think they actually lived that life. It matters to them and is crucial for being able to make root cause changes.]

You will then need to imagine floating above your time-line and going back to that root cause event all the way back. You will float above the event and notice what is in the event. Then float down inside the event and notice the decision that was made and the learnings you need to preserve in the special place reserved for such learnings. Then float back up about 15 minutes before the event and notice the decision is gone now, isn’t it. If it isn’t completely gone now, go a little further up and back in time until the decision is completely gone.

Then you float back toward now going only as quickly as you can see how all the other events between then and now begin to change because that decision is gone now, isn’t it. Float back into today. Then imagine a time in the not too distant future where that old decision would have limited you and notice things are different now aren’t they. When you see how different they are float back to today. That is the same process you use to eliminate negative emotions such as the big three: fear, anger, and guilt. Doing this will go a long way toward helping you not only learn to become more loving but adapt that growth mindset. For those who struggle having people trust you, these TLT techniques can be the jump starter for Training faithfulness. You will now simply have to start demonstrating to those who have lost faith you in that you can and will be faithful. 

If you have built your home on the foundation of love, you exhibiting faithfulness is simply the natural actions that come from that ingrained mindset. Unquestionably, people who have a foundation built on love still do have to face life’s earthquakes, floods, and storms and any one of these piers or voussoirs may become damaged. If you ever had a moment where you were unfaithful, leaning on your foundation of love and your faith will be what gets you back in fellowship with the person or people whom you were unfaithful toward. Because people are your greatest resource having faith and being faithful are two vital piers for the construction of the mindset of a champion.

Check out this page on Unfaithfulness to get an even deeper understanding of the issue.

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