Unfaithfulness and Its Power to Destroy

Unfaithfulness is an incredibly destructive character trait. It behooves us to look at it so you can understand why building faithfulness is so important. Generally speaking, discussing the opposite of the character trait we want to train is not the strategy to use. In this situation, truly understanding what it looks like, how it gets engrained, and what to do about it is essential. Also, we can use this as a model to demonstrate why eliminating the negative is invaluable in clearing the way to build the positive.

Unfaithfulness destroys trust which is an essential ingredient in building powerful, long lasting, relationships that bring joy to those involved.

Unfaithfulness: What does it look like?

Unfaithfulness entails betrayal. Someone has placed trust in you and you have broken that trust. It is not being entrusted with some responsibility and you didn’t meet those expectations. Unfaithfulness is worse in its implications. At the heart of unfaithfulness is that it alludes to not doing the right thing, the thing that was entrusted to you. It becomes personal.

Think of the husband or wife who demonstrates unfaithfulness of the marriage vow. That very often destroys that relationship and if there are children it has a significant negative impact on the children. Think of the politician who betrays the trust in their oath of office. Think of the unfaithfulness demonstrated by a friend who shares a secret given to them in confidence. The damage and harm those situations can do not just to them but to others as well can be quite damaging. It is the negative ripple effect of unfaithfulness.

I want to emphasize that unfaithfulness, while connected to trust, is not exactly the same as not be trusted. Let me illustrate with a sports example. A coach may lose faith in a relief pitcher and not use them in clutch situations and that does not mean the player has demonstrated unfaithfulness. It simply means they have not been able to perform well in a specific situation so the coach doesn’t trust them in that situation. Unfaithfulness in that context would be if it was discovered the player intentionally threw a game. That situation is what makes unfaithfulness so destructive.

Furthermore, unfaithfulness would imply you are not being leader nor do you know when or how to follow. Someone who has a personality that allows for unfaithfulness probably is not humble. It is likely that their arrogance actually contributes to the idea that they can be unfaithful and escape the consequences. In a similar manner, an unfaithful person is not likely to practice forbearance, which in this context would be akin to not controlling your emotions to abstain from doing harm. An unfaithful person is certainly not demonstrating foresight. Those previously mentioned character traits are four of the character traits exhibited by a faithful person.

To summarize, unfaithfulness is about broken relationships and broken trust. It is when someone is trusted to do what is right or what they have promised to do and renege on that trust or promise. Its consequences often send ripple effects through the others close to that unfaithful person.

How does one develop unfaithfulness?

Of course there is no one answer here but we can address the question by looking at generalities. In danger of over simplifying this the essential problem stems from the decision making strategy being used when they decide to be unfaithful. The other thing at play here is the interaction of the persons beliefs and values – their character – that influence that decision making strategy.

Someone who is self-seeking and arrogant could very well develop a decision making strategy that lacks foresight and is completely disassociated to the pain that may inflicted on those they purportedly care about. These characteristics are usually engrained at a relatively young age. Without directly attacking these traits building a mindset of faithfulness becomes a real challenge.

Unfaithfulness: How Do You Prevent It?

The first part of the answer is to emphasize the training of faithfulness and the eight essential characteristics of faithfulness. The real question becomes how do you train it and that is what this website is about.

You need to understand the importance of the morning and evening ritual which should include the practice of self-reflection. If you are beginning this with your teen holding them accountable while developing this habit will be crucial. The challenge with that age group is the consistency necessary for the habits to be formed. 

If we are dealing with changing the traits of an adult the necessity of doing a personal breakthrough is essential. In the personal breakthrough past limiting decisions or beliefs, held onto negative emotions are dealt with and in this scenario strategies are also dealt with.

 Dealing with the impact of someone who has demonstrated unfaithfulness obviously must entail all those involved in the pain of the action. Rebuilding trust and faithfulness is possible but requires commitment from all the parties involved.

Please consider joining our private Facebook group: Mastering Your Growth Mindset

Enjoy this page? Please pay it forward. Here's how ... Would you prefer to share this page with others by linking to it? Click on the HTML link code below. Copy and paste it, adding a note of your own, into your blog, a Web page, forums, a blog comment, your Facebook account, or anywhere that someone would find this page valuable.

var l = window.location.href, d = document; document.write ('<form action = "#"> <div style = "text-align: center"> <textarea cols = "50" rows = "2" onclick = "this.select ();"> <a href = "'+ l +'"> '+ d.title +' </a> </textarea> </div> </form> ');

Privacy Policy