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Develop a Mindset of Love

by Simon Potter
(USA)

If you are serious about learning and understanding the nature of success and achievement and fulfillment, you need to understand why a love or loving mindset is vital. If we are honest with ourselves, it really should not be surprising that a love mindset would be the foundation upon which our success must be built. After all, even if we have not read about all the pathologies that develop in people who do not feel loved, we instinctively know that one of the most dangerous things to a society is to have a large population of people – especially young adult males – who have spent much of their life feeling unloved. We do though need to delve a bit deeper into this word love, so we can truly understand what we are discussing here.

The English language with all its words sometimes lumps many nuances of words into one word. Love is one example. The ancient Greeks had four words for love: agape, storge, philia, and eros. Each of these words meant something slightly different. Agape was the word Christians began to use to represent God’s sacrificial and unconditional love. This is the kind of love that we see when one person, even a total stranger, sacrifices themselves for another. It is also the type of love behind true charity, which is giving without any expectation of getting anything in return. That is agape love. Storge refers to the love you would have for your child or spouse. It is also depicted as the type of love or affection you might have for your country, state, community, or even a sports team. Philia is the affection or bond typically between equals. It is the idea of brotherly love where brother refers more to the idea of brother when used to refer to a teammate, comrade in arms, fraternity brother, or similar connection between people not so much actual genealogical brother. Eros of course is where the word erotic originates from and refers to sexual love. When talking about love as the foundation for success and achievement are we talking about all of these connotations of love or some of these notions of love?

What do you think? Does it seem reasonable that all of these connotations for love matter for your success? Let me ask a different question, can any or all of these connotations for love lead to significant emotional issues?

Let’s tackle that second question. Agape or sacrificial love can that be a negative? Some people would argue that when someone is constantly putting the love of others before their family that could certainly cause problems or decay of the family pillar. Similarly, if you are putting your love for your brother’s and sisters in the philia sense before maybe your family or spouse or career that you could create problems as well. I think you can also imagine that if you love your business more than some other areas of your life those other areas could suffer as well. Is there any of the four loves though that come with greater potential for self-destruction than eros? Think of all the problems that arise from sexual abuse, rape, promiscuity, and infidelity. Think of the problems within marriages when one partner or the other or both are not having their erotic love needs met.

Okay, if maybe there are problems that can arise from loving “too much” and “inappropriately”, what exactly is it about love that makes it the foundation for success?

The bottom line is mankind needs love, especially unconditional love. We cannot live without it. There are those who would argue otherwise, but I believe the evidence overwhelmingly supports the notion that feeling unloved or not experiencing unconditional love, or even brotherly love, or even sorge, cannot lead to the kind of success and fulfillment I want my clients to attain. If love or better yet, a love mindset, is so important, you should understand what it really is and understand that it is much more than a feeling.

In 1 Corinthians 13:4 – 7, we learn what the characteristics of love (agape) are. According to the Christian tradition and understanding of love, “love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” With this list, we find traits that are not only something we can adopt in ourselves, but they are crucial characteristics of people who have attained the mindset of a champion and gained the kind of success and achievement I believe people are truly striving for. If you knew a person who was patient, kind, not envious, not boastful, not proud, not dishonoring of others, not self-seeking, not easily angered, doesn’t keep record of being wronged, is protecting, trusting, hopeful, and perseverant you would want to be around that person, wouldn’t you. You would want to associate with them, wouldn’t you. The truth is an overwhelming majority of people would, which is why attaining a love mindset is the foundation upon which your success must be built. These characteristics were also evident in the people whom were part of my success model.